The Junk Drawer

If anyone thought that Donald Trump would somehow become more serious and sober minded in his second term, well…I have some sweet oceanfront property in Phoenix to sell you. The first indication that Trump will be treating the Oval Office like “Animal House “comes with his initial cabinet picks.

He’s picked a Fox News host for Secretary of Defense. Former MTV reality star, Sean Duffy, is up for Transportation. Bobby Kennedy, Jr. – devotee of roadkill, raw milk, and severed whale’s heads – will be let loose in HHS, while Dr. Oz will oversee Medicare and Medicaid. South Dakota governor Kristi Noem, who made headlines for killing her puppy, will head up Homeland Security. Linda McMahon, late of the WWE, is tapped for Education. And Tulsi Gabbard has been named to head Intelligence – which is awkward, seeing as she’s a favorite on Russian state TV to the point where the hosts have called her “our girlfriend.”

The cherry on top of Trump’s Weirdo Sundae? Former Florida representative Matt Gaetz is in the running for Attorney General. While Gaetz is technically a lawyer, he “practiced” for less than two years before moving to the Florida state house. He has a very troubling reputation for unsavory activities and a penchant for young girls, all of which was being investigated by the House Ethics committee before he resigned. At this writing, there’s a battle over whether that ethics report will be released and Gaetz’ nomination will go through.

Of course, Trump’s co-president Elon Musk is pairing up with Vivek Ramaswamy to root out “waste” in an unofficial “Department of Government Efficiency.” Considering that Twitter/X has lost 80% of its value since Musk bought it in Oct. 2022, he may not be the best person for the job.

Trump wants to forego standard background checks on his picks. He’s refusing to sign a traditional ethics pledge. The dude hasn’t even taken office and he and his crew are a whole disco ball of security threats.

Compared to the deeply experienced people in the Biden cabinet, Trump’s looks like something out of The Simpsons. As someone else noted, its not so much a cabinet as a junk drawer.

With every unserious pick for very serious jobs, it’s clear that Trump doesn’t have any plan to solve problems. His loyal soldiers like podcaster Steve Bannon have long said they want to break our system. For the last few years, they’ve been at it, creating distrust in the media, justice system, and in our elections. In a second term, any and every government agency and function will be put through the woodchipper. What will replace it? A system similar to Putin’s where resources and favor are directed to cronies.


We can hope that those positions that need hearings and confirmation will receive some hard questions and pushback from Congress. However, considering how spineless the GOP has become in recent years, that’s unlikely.

The only other thing we can hope for is that the giant mass of ego, narcissism, and general incompetence occupying this clown car will run headlong into the immovable force of bureaucracy and capitalism.

At any rate, it’s up to each of us to make our voices heard on what’s sure to be a list of crazy policies, cuts to essential programs, and insults to our intelligence. Elect clowns, expect a circus.

Cindy Grogan is a writer, lover of history and "Star Trek" (TOS), and hardcore politics junkie. There was that one time she campaigned for Gerald Ford (yikes), but ever since, she's been devoted to Democratic and progressive policies.